The Etiquette of Making Introductions

The Etiquette of Making IntroductionsThe Etiquette of Making IntroductionsOnce youve started to build up a respectable network in the working world, youll certainly find yourself with opportunities to connect the people you know. Maybe a friend of yours is looking to hire a marketing manager, and you know a great candidate, or maybe one of your new connections is interested in meeting one of your mentors or advisors.This is great. Its an opportunity to help out the people you know, strengthen your relationships with them, and also stay on their radar in a positive way. But theres an art to making connections among your network- and truth is, its leid always that easy to navigate when one of your connections is eager to meet another.Next time someone asks you for an intro, heres your primer on handling it with grace.Dont Make Cold IntrosRule number one Dont make an introduction to someone without asking her first. Cold intros are the virtual equivalent of planning a one-on-one catch-u p with someone, and showing up with another friend- theyre off-putting, and they can leave the recipient feeling off-balance, annoyed, and unsure of what to do next.Theres an easy way around this. Before making an intro, give the people involved a heads up. If a friend of mine wants to meet an editorial contact I have, for example, Ill send that contact a note first, to the effect of Hey, I wanted to introduce you to my friend Julia. Shes insert 1-2 sentences on her background. Ill send an email intro shortly This way, the recipient of the intro has some context and knows to expect the email from you.Now, depending on your relationship, there may also be times when its more appropriate to ask permission than to send an FYI. My friend Julia insert background would love to meet you- is it OK with you if I make the introduction? is entirely appropriate.Present an AngleWhen youre introducing people, presumably its because you think theres a reason they should meet. Sometimes this reason is one-sided, for example, if someone in your circle has asked you to connect her with someone at her dream company. Other times, its mutually beneficial- two people have expressed interest in meeting each other, or you see synergies between the companies theyre working for and think theyd get along.Regardless, you have a reason for making the introduction. So, when you go to actually make that intro, youll do both people a huge favor by stating what that reason is.This is helpful even if both people know why youre making the intro, because it gives them something to go off of when they respond to one another. On the other hand, Ive found that when I receive an email that says, Meet my friend- shes awesome, you two should talk, its hard to formulate a non-awkward response to the person Im supposed to meet. (Hey, nice to meet you- I hear youre awesome just doesnt cut it.)Be Aware of Power DynamicsAll relationships are not created equal. And as you expand your circle beyond your imme diate peers, you have to be aware of the dynamics amongst the people you know and the people youre connecting. Asking a senior marketing exec to sit down with the somewhat-aimless-but-nice woman you just met at a conference is- well,not cool.Of course, there are a lot of grey areas in relationships, but the bottom line is to be aware of what youre asking of people and make sure its appropriate. More importantly, if you know youre asking a big favor of someone, acknowledge it Would you do me a favor and talk with my colleague Mark about moving into the business development world? Other times, you can be more subtle- but use phrases like I would appreciate it if or It would be so helpful if that clue the recipient in to the fact that you know youre asking something of her.Remember its OK to Say NoFinally, if someone asks you to make an intro you arent comfortable with, give yourself permission to say no. You dont have to do every favor thats asked of you. If a junior peer comes aski ng you to intro her to every senior exec you know- be polite, but dont feel badeanstalt turning her down.At the end of the day, your network is your network because youve built those relationships. You want to maintain them and show respect for the people you know and their time. Connecting people is a great way to further your network and relationships, but if you think that making an intro is wasting one person or the others time, or get the sense that one party wouldnt be so receptive to it- sometimes the appropriate thing to do is to pass.Photo of people meeting courtesy of Shutterstock.